Friday, January 20, 2012

WHATS THERE IN A NAME: Probably not valid for India.


A blog by abhishek bhopali

When Shakespeare proposed this “universally accepted” quote, he probably unaware of Indian subcontinent.

India is a country where your fate is decided less by your job but more by your name, or precisely speaking , its your “SURNAME” .

Yes it is the same country where people can kill each other only because they have different religious view, and we proud of it. We says we are united and “unity is our strength”, but the truth we never been united since early origin. Not to mention we are enslaved by Afghans, Mughals, Britishers and many more, thanks to our “skewed view on unity”.

We are now considered to be a independent country. But independent from what??? We are still in the same phase of moulding as we were from last 10 centuries, or may be more than that. We still fight on the name of “HINDU-MUSLIM”, “MANDIR-MASJID”.

Casteism is even more dangerous.  This is probably the top-most reason why we had enslaved for more than 3 centuries own our own land. Again thanx to castiesm.

Let me tell you a very true story:

I   natively  belongs to an average village somewhere in Gopalganj district of  Bihar. We belong to some caste they call it “Brahmin”. I was brainwashed that as being a Brahaman, we (collectively the entire bunch of caste-lover) are among the top of all the peoples. According to them we are sacred and higher than those so called “lower-caste” by default.

I  never know why we are considered to be the higher one just because because we born in some random high class family. I never had any courage to ask them why so? So technically, I do no have such idea why so? So let it be here only…………..

This incident happens to me some one year back. I was in my hometown in vacation,  I was introduced to everyone as I was a dummy showpiece. I was adviced to wish namastey to every elder of our caste.
I was out with my little brother. I decided to pretend to be nice to the peoples. I said NAMASTEY to one of the elder person I got through by joining my both hands. He looked me by extra straining his older eyes and looked puzzled at my brother . I interpreted his “who the f**k is this guy?” look and introduced myself. After my brief introduction(enquiry, to be precise) he scolded me for not touching his feet. I felt like an stupid then, but anyways, I touched his feet and went forward on my way.
# This phase of my life is called “being stupid” #

My brother told me to touch every elders’ feet during my wish.  Then I greeted every elder I met during my this “JAN-SAMPARK-YATRA” program.  I had gave a brief introduction to every person I met there. I was behaving like a computer-programmed-Robot fed with an instruction to be repeated in a cycle. I was so much practices to this  * CTRL+C CTRL+V *  version of me that if I see any  living creature older than me I would greet  him/her by touching the feet and give my very-well-mugged-till-now intro.
# This phase of my life is called “being in *CTRL+C CTRL+V* mode” phase.#

I was so perfect by then that I love this “non-paid-job”. During this entire “JAN-SAMPARK-YATRA” I was forgotten the most emphasized word told by my family. I saw an oldman, well-dressed in dhoti-kurta passing by. I immediately touched his feet and greeted him. He immediately stepped back in sudden reflex saying “RAM-RAM”. I was puzzled that “why the f**k he is doing this instead of usual blessing ”. I looked at my brother for the sake of the answer of his “unusual” act over my “well-trained-computer-programmed-robotic-greeting-scheme”. He was giving me “oh-my-god!! What the f**k u did?” look. I was confusedly trying to figure out “what the f**k I did”?
# This phase of my life is called “What-the-f**k-I-did?” phase#

I sensed my computerized-programmed-robotic-greeting-scheme of this “JAN-SAMPARK-YATRA” had occurred any serious “technical-error”. My little brother who is very small in age than me but very-much-experienced in “SOCIAL BEHAVIOUR” comparatively, told me that this guy I just greeted belongs to HARIJANS and I was not supposed to touch his feet. I said “its OK, not a big deal, it happens. I’ll take care now”. He told me I would scolded if someone in family learned about it.  I told him not to tell anything home. He reminded me its not possible as some of the villagers saw me touching his feet and they will surely spread this “”BREAKING-NEWS” in entire viullage. I was shocked to know this, and precisely scared to death. I was feeling like an as*h*le. I prayed million times to each and every possible versions of god known to mankind that these “small-scale-media-people” would not tell my parents about my this biggest-ever-SIN.
# This phase of my life is called “being as*h*le”  #

Well, we reached home only to know that these news people had done their job, as expected. I must say these virtual news peoples are perfectly professional and dedicated toward their  favouriate job. I was scolded like hell and treated as if I had came after messed up in sewage. I was told(strictely ordered,actually) to have a bath right-then , and I had to. Only after having my “unwanted” bath, I was allowed to be a part of my “holy” family. During dinner I asked my papa that why he still believe these bullshits and he told me if we don’t do this,  we will not be respected by our own society. We have got to live like this if we have to survive in this so called “well-behaved-society”.
# This phase of my life is called “being dumba*s” #

No need to say, I had became the hottest topic of discussion on “gossip-television” of our village.  These “high class” people of society had got a brand new spicy topic of their media-job. I was feeling like embraced and wondered about this “SURVIVAL-FOR-THE-FITTEST” theory. I had been there 4 more days there and that was the most embarrassing  period of my life.  I couldn’t figure out which universal force let them do this insane.
# This phase of my life is called “being embraced” #

This is actually not a story, it’s a real incident which forced to rethink about my theories of right to equality.


Can we ever replace this inequality from our heart.???????????
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Monday, January 16, 2012

mushkil hai apna mel priye,EVERTIME HIT Poem

Mushkil hai apna mel priye, ye pyar nahin hai khel priye,
mushkil hai apna mel priye, ye pyar nahin hai khel priye,

tum MA 1st division ho, main hua matric fail priye,

mushkil hai apna mel priye, ye pyar nahin hai khel priye,

tum fauji afsar ki beti, main to kisaan ka beta hoon,
tum rabadi kheer malai ho, main to sattu sapreta hoon,
tum AC ghar mein rahti ho, main ped ke neeche leta hoon,
tum nai maruti lagti ho, main scooter lamreta hoon,
is kadar agar hum chhup-chhup kar aapas me prem badhaenge,
to ek roz tere daddy amrish puri ban jaaenge,
sab haddi pasli tod mujhe bhijwaa denge vo jail priye,

mushkil hai apna mel priye, ye pyar nahin hai khel priye,

tum arab desh kee ghodi ho, main hoon gadahe ki naal priye,
tum deewali ka bonus ho, main bhookho ki hadtaal priye,
tum heere jadi tashtari ho, main almunium ka thaal priye,
tum chicken-soop biryani ho, main kankad waali daal priye,
tum hiran-chaokadi bharti ho, main hoon kachue ki chaal priye,
tum chandan-wan ki lakdi ho, main hoon babool ki chaal priye,
main pake aam sa latka hoon, mat maaro mujhe gulel priye,

mushkil hai apna mel priye, ye pyar nahin hai khel priye,

main shani-dev jaisa kuroop, tum komal kanchan kaya ho,
main tan-se man-se kanshi ram, tum maha chanchala maya ho,
tum nirmal paawan ganga ho, main jalta hua patanga hoon,
tum raaj ghaat ka shanti march, main hindu-muslim danga hoon,
tum ho poonam ka taaj mahal, main kaali gufa ajanta ki,
tum ho vardaan vidhata ka, main galti hoon bhagvanta ki,
tum jet vimaan ki shobha ho, main bus ki thelam-thel priye,

mushkil hai apna mel priye, ye pyar nahin hai khel priye,

tum nai videshi mixi ho, main patthar ka silbatta hoon,
tum AK-saintalis jaisi, main to ik desi katta hoon,
tum chatur rabadi devi si, main bhola-bhala lalu hoon,
tum mukt sherni jangal ki, main chidiyaghar ka bhaalu hoon,
tum vyast sonia gandhi si, main v.p.singh sa khali hoon,
tum hansi madhuri dixit ki, main policeman ki gaali hoon,
kal jel agar ho jaaye to dilwa dena tum bel priye,

mushkil hai apna mel priye, ye pyar nahin hai khel priye,

main dhabe ke dhaanche jaisa, tum paanch sitara hotel ho,
main mahue ka desi tharra, tum red-label ki botel ho,
tum chitra-haar ka madhur geet, main krishi-darshan ki jhaadi hoon,
tum vishva-sundari si kamaal, main teliya chaap kabadi hoon,
tum sony ka mobile ho, main telephone waala chonga,
tum machli maansarovar ki, main saagar tat ka hoon ghongha,
dus manzil se gir jaaooga, mat aage mujhe dhakel priye,

mushkil hai apna mel priye, ye pyar nahin hai khel priye,

tum satta ki maharani ho, main vipaksha ki lachari hoon,
tum ho mamta-jailalita si, main kwara atal-bihari hoon,

tum sansad ki sundarta ho, mai hun tihar ki jail priye.

mushkil hai apna mel priye, ye pyar nahin hai khel priye,

tum tendulkar ka shatak priye, main follow on ki paari hoon,
tum getz, matiz, corolla ho main Leyland ki lorry hoon,
mujhko refree hi rehne do, mat khelo mujhse khel priye,
mushkil hai apna mel priye, ye pyar nahin hai khel priye,
main soch raha ki rahe hain kabse, shrota mujhko jhel priye,

mushkil hai apna mel priye, ye pyar nahin hai khel priye.

About Me

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Bhopal. Delhi. Mumbai. Thrissur, India
A grammatically challenged blogger. Typos are integral part of blogging