Smt. Sonia Gandhi
10, Janpath. Delhi.
Subject: - Promise-cum-bargaining letter to negotiate on my vote value for upcoming assembly election.
Most respectfully, myself, Bhopali fan of the Joker wants to say that I am a
big very-very huge fan of yours and thereby sending this
letter in hope of encashing my fanship by manipulating my underrated vote into
a preset commercial bidding. As being an Aam Aadmi (popularly known as Mango
man of Banana Republic, thanks to your son-in-law our national
Son-in-law, Robert Vadra Gandhi) I have keen inclination of taking the
temporary benefits mindlessly, even if I know it would destroy my future, I am
trying to look for the best deal any
political (or purportedly non-political)
party can provide for my often highly underrated electoral right. And I firmly
believe that yours’ is one such party. Although I am also having a talk from
other parties as well, as I want this deal to be professionally perfect but yet
I strongly believe that none of them can offer me the remuneration (or
equivalent benefits) as compared to yours.
I solemnly certify, in all my senses, that I am making this decision of selling my vote with my own wish. I also declare that I am not under effect of any alcoholic drink or hallucinating narcotic drugs while writing this letter. Neither does anybody have forced me for the same.
Oh sorry! I almost forget to introduce myself. I am one of the billion anonymous faces among public who is often ignored at more or less every political or government decision and abruptly become extremely popular right before election. We usually look broken and fatigued because we lack in considerable toughness and are unable to withstand the sudden impact load of expectation and substantial importance beyond our resilience, imposed upon us. We are the one who sell their vote in lieu of a free bottle of alcohol or free chicken. Nevertheless, hard cash serve the purpose very best. Although there is an associated risk persisted with hard cash transfer, both for we the people and the political leaders from the people. Besides, a considerable percentage of it used to be trimmed down by the intermediaries actively working between us making the trade difficult. I personally want to congratulate you for zillion times in support of introduction of DIRECT BENEFIT TRANSFER (DBT) right before the election to ensure the proper and complete reach of right money to the right people direct into our bank account. Now we don’t have to look for the compassion of the Sarkari Babus to receive what we deserve. All we have to do is to get ourselves ADHAR No. linked with our bank account. We have to make sure to show our income below what is specified for measuring Poverty line, which we can get by spending few hundred bucks to concerned sarkari office. Lucrative investment indeed. However we expect you to bring some similar change in other departments too. We are irrevocably thankful for your consistent effort to introduce ADHAR throughout the nation without even introducing in parliament. Well… what’s the point of being in power when you can’t defy the Parliament? Good move indeed.
I am not going into much detail about your obligatory duties of 2G, CWG, COAL-GATE and uncountable several other achievements as they are not giving any direct benefits to us.
Nonetheless, I want to tell you that other political rival of yours are trying harder to entice us by introducing 19.33% minority reservation, Ram-Mandir etc etc etc. Beware of them.
Time constraint doesn’t allow me to express my complete gratitude toward you and your party. I hereby submit my business proposal and request you to send me your offer quoting the best deal you can offer. Rest in subsequent letters...
Assuring of our best relation for all times.
Place: De’mock’ratic India.
PS: This letter is purely created for free entertainment and is not intended to defame anybody. Apology for mistakes, if any.
Those who don't like it can simply go to hell.