Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Quitting facebook is easiest. I know coz I Did it thousand of times

There comes a time when u have no longer interested in facebook.(well, 90% of FB-savy cannot believe this statement, but it happens). And why not, when shit happens in real-life: why can't be in virtual life. I was feeling like quitting facebook since last two months: But everytime i tried this insane, my "being-stupid area of my 25gram brain" strongly activated my internal urge to login to the facebook. My every attempts to get over to my "relationship with facebook" seems diminishing as my innovative "Quit-Facebook" movement put on back-burner in every two hours. (I am telling you, this "social-networking addiction" is most addictive in this world which take you away from the real-life). I wondered if I could achieve this "Mission-Impossible" task of "Quit-Facebook" ever or not.

Meanwhile, I developed a new relationship with TWITTER (thanx me, ofcourse) and blogging(again, mind it, i did it many times before but hadn't even succeeded in handling this kind of relationship). the credit ofre-starting my this relationship with blogging should goes to my Brother from chennai, TN. (though we agreed for blogging for different reasons; anyways, I am not getting into it.)

Moreover, these two collectively reduce my love for facebook, but not enough to induce breaking-up-effect in relationship with it. Anyways, it went 2 months when this virus of "qutting-facebbok" entered my 25gram-mind but my mind itself has a fair antivirus which had quarantited this virus for this period. By last week only, this virus get catalysed when a second cousin of mine introduced me with his girlfriend, SAUMYA. Saumya's so-called "expert-opinion" had boggled my mind enough to understand and consequently terminate my dillemma of whether or not quitting facebook. I was told by my this cousin that she is a good (unprofessional) advisor.

We chated over SMS, and I told her how I wanted to quit facebook and all those pretended-to-be-serious attempts for this. She had also CIDed (enquired, i mean) me for the reason which leads me to think about this "INSANE"  of "Quit-Facebook".

Saumya: Why are you quitting FB?

Me:     I don't have any specific answer for this, but at one end I want to being-connected to      facebook-friends but at the same time i wanna get over it.

Saumya: "Being on facebook for connecting ur pals is fine."
      But I don't see any point in getting over it. What on earth force u to do this.

Me:     Well, there may be several reasons. One of them may be Facebook is far more socially      backward than thgat of twitter.

(My phone rangs ans spectacularly, it was she,)

Me:     Hello!!!!!!!!!

Saumya: Hey, what makes saying facebook "socially-backward". U dont like it, its Okay, but how      come u declare it as backward.

Me:     oh! I'm sorry. I didn't mean it.

(Life is a bitch, if u are a male, u have got to appologize, whether u r wrong or not.)

Saumya: Whateva........... anyways, then do it.

Me:     do it what?

Saumya: are U idiot? we were talking about ur "Quit-Facebook" mania no?

Me:      Ok Ok Ok, I'm Sorry. plz tell.

(yeah, sorry again, how idiot i m)

Saumya: I wanted to say, then leave it no? Why are u confused over this silly issue. How dumb u      are? The world has so many thing to confused about and u are wasting ur time with this      f**kin' dellimma.

Me:     Its just because none of my friends are there on twitter. These morons doesn't even know     what twitter is about.

(yes, I had called you all morons. but I wont apologize, unless u r a girl, are u?     Anyways.......)

Saumya: Then why don't you stick with Facebook?

Me:     Because I dont want to. I told u no?

Life is again a bitch when u have a dumb advice for dumber problems.
So this lady is suggesting me to stick with the thing  i want to getging over.
Its like, u went to court seeking divorce, and judge advice u to patch up and get back into relationship again.

Saumya: Do u have anyreason which support ur "non-sense". Any?

Me:     No, but facebook sucks.

Saumya: What do u mean by "Facebook sucks"? Life sucks too. Does it means that U quit living.       Are u? I dont think its right to quit facebook. U are just 20. Its not the age of quitting

Me:     What the f......? What do u mean by "its not the age of quitting facebook"? Is Facebook     set any age-limit or retirement plan for it. I am not doing any job here? Am I?

Saumya: Hey hey hey,.... easy, easy man! take it easy........... and why the fuck u are using      abusive language.

(Alas! this is really insane. When a boy says only "f......." its abusive word, and when a girl says "fuck", it is advice.)

Apparently she is giving me advice and technically, she is confusing me.

Me:     Oh! I am sorry. I.... I.... I jst didn't realised whom i am talking to. I apologize.

(Yes, In a conversation b/w a boy and a girl, no matter who is wrong; its always a boy who have to apologize.)

Saumya: Ok! Ok! but mind it. Yes and You can do it one thing. U don't quit facebook. U just leave      it. and chek it weekly, monthly or so.

Me:     And how exactly it help?

Saumya: U can connect to ur friends only when u want.

Me:     Thank u very much saumya. I really mean it.

Thogh neither i meant that nor i want to thank her for her go-fuck-urself-with-ur-messed-up-problem's advice. Also when u say "I really mean it", it simply means u didn't even care for "it" but saying this on the ground of reality. My mind was so messed-up by then that one more suggestion and i'd had slap her.

Meanwhile, after boggling my mind with her fuck-off advice for my fucked-up problem, she behaved like she had won WORLD WAR-III.

Saumya: My pleasure. Anyways, why dont u add me on facebook. we can chat when u feel like      need my help. I'll send u friend request.  Okay.

What the fuck1 this girl  had supposed to help me quitting facebook and in the end, she is not only telling me to stay on facebook, but also want me to add her on facebook to get her fucking-expert-advice.

By the way, I nodded and we disconnected the call.

Its really crazy. I really have to ask my cousin, why the hell he told this girl an advisor.

Anyways, I had decided to leave facebook and to post only links related to articles on my blog. But this leaving period remains only for 4 days, and now again i m on facebook.

keep on reading my blog (if u dare u can) and don't even ask for advice of any unprofessional advisor, especially a confused beautiful girl. It only leads u to a more complicated version of ur fucked-up problem and will increment one more count in ur facebook friend list.


written by:
Almost Engineer

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Bhopal. Delhi. Mumbai. Thrissur, India
A grammatically challenged blogger. Typos are integral part of blogging